College has not been as completely rewarding to me as it should have been. I came in as an Engineering major, because I had no idea what I wanted to do and I was marginally better than most people at math and math related things. What followed was two years of mediocre grades and no plan or desire to continue things on that path. I was completely stuck in a rut. I didn't think to change, because I didn't really think that was that was an option. I had it in my mind, that since I had started as an engineer, I needed to finish as an engineer. But, of course, college doesn't work like that. It just took quite a bit longer to figure things out than it took everyone else. By the very very beginning of my third year, lets just say it became a bit of a requirement to leave the school of Engineering, as I couldn't really continue taking classes. What made that first week most unpleasant, was trying to appeal to a professor I had never met, to get into a class that I needed to retake, that I absolutely did not want to do again, and to be honest, saw no real point in doing anyway. That coupled with a very stern academic adviser, made those first couple weeks extremely depressing.
Thankfully, UT does actually employ some people that do want to help you. I spoke with probably the nicest person I have met so far on campus in the general engineering office, and she helped me on my path out the door of the engineering section of school. We outlined some basic courses for me to take. She told me about the Career Assistance Center, where I took some career aptitude tests to better see what I wanted to do in life, where I also met some very nice people. But what she really did most, was provide a kind person to talk to in my time of despair and vulnerability. She never once gave me any type of disapproving or judgmental word or action because of my lackluster grades, as I had received elsewhere in the department. She knew that sometimes you just find yourself on a slippery slope to an unknown destination, and have no idea how to change that course. I had reached the end of my slippery slope, and had nearly given up. And she handed me a pair of climbing shoes.
The real honest-to-god moment of clarity happened, though, when I was conversing with a friend a few weeks after I had started my new slate of Engineering Undeclared classes. He had been on much of the same path as me. Up until that point, I had still felt weird about having to leave Engineering. It felt like I was giving up on something, or wasn't worthy or smart enough to finish. And that made me feel small. And I hate feeling small. So, amidst our conversation, he said this to me; "Don't be afraid to change your major." It was like the proverbial veil had been pulled away. I had known that deep down inside of me somewhere, but had needed someone to say it out loud for me to actually understand it and its meaning. In that moment, I knew it was not Engineering that had left me, I had left Engineering. I did not leave because I had to. I finally left because I wanted to. Those bad grades at the end was just the push I needed. And for that, Chris, I thank you.
But now, it is the end of my second day of classes in my Economics degree. I have been an Economics major for a summer and fall semester now and considerably more happier. I get to take much more interesting (to me) classes. I have way less restrictions and am able to take classes I want, which can not be said whatsoever for Engineering. And while I still have no idea what I'm doing after I graduate, I have considerably more fun learning what goes to my degree. Which, besides partying, isn't what college is all about? Becoming a better person through the study and knowledge of subjects that interest you? That's what I've slowly come to discover. I hope you realize it some day too.
Recommended Viewing Experience:
Accepted (movie) (This movie helped me immensely when I was still stuck in Engineering)
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